Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
