I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
