So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
