so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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