Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
