Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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