i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
