help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
