Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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