As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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