ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
