oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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