I want to walk on stilts...naked
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
