I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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