I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
