is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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