Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
