3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
