We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize