I've blown a few things in my day
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
