smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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