i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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