A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We had sex on a dog bed..
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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