just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize
