it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Randomize
