Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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