He asked to "fluff my boner.."
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
