i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
