Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he thought i was a dude.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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