Say something about gay babies.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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