you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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