I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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