dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
