How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
