I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
