they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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