I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
