Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
