either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
