Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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