I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
