and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
