the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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