I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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