If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize