Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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