think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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