Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
