i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
