Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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