do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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