Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
