great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize