I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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