I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
home. puking in laundry basket.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
