My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
