If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize