So drunk, too bad you don't want this
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
