? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
