Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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