if i can run in heels then i can drive
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
