first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
