I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
