Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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