omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize