That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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