He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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