3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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