I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
