you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
