addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
