yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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