Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
