My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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