the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
