She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
too bad you live with your parents still
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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